My Name is Cranky and I Approve this Message……

Usually on any given morning during the week, my bright orange flowered telly will ring at approximately 6:55 am, a call from my trusted neighbor & good friend. We have just ushered off our teens onto the school bus,  we are drinking coffee(decaf for her- -hi test for me) and by this point we both have read the paper and caught up on the news. As the phone rang on this given Monday I was rearing to go…
Lately, I have been just glued to the television and obsessed with the crazy thing we call the Presidential Election. Without going into details(yes I will spare you which way I lean) I was packing an argument. Basically I screamed and yelled into the phone for a good 20 minutes– I CAN’T BELIEVE THE PRESS IS SAYING BLAH BLAH…… She gave it back to me a bit but mostly, as all good friends do, she let me rant and rave.  As we hung up, I flew onto the computer, copying and pasting every thing I could find to support my rude rant and composed an email to her. However, I came to my senses and never sent it. I still have it in my draft folder and by coming to my senses I mean, to stop hounding her (not that I was wrong. Goodness no 🙂 that never happens? HA)

 Later in the day, I went to the “beauty parlor”(remember when they were called this?–silly name) My hairdresser and I both share the same political views and boy was she all bottled up and couldn’t wait to get me in the chair that day. She knew it was safe to openly chat politics. The only problem is the more she wants to chat the longer she keeps me captive. The more excited she gets the more I hear the swift and speedy snip snip snip in my ear. So if you come to the OWL you will notice a very short hairdo….( I love my stylist– for 26 years she has been cutting my hair!)

After leaving the salon, my ears ringing and my brain hurting, I needed to step back and STOP! I am so tired of it all. At this moment, I have limited myself to “brief” news watching and trying not to get in any “conversations” with anyone! Frustration has won. To help with my refocus I needed a dose of distraction–

I reached for Christopher Buckley’s newest book Supreme Courtship. And he did not fail me! If you are looking for some relief of the farce on TV or newspapers– tired of shaking your head and thinking “how can they be saying that?” then please read Mr. Buckley’s books. He pokes fun at all that is Washington and it is so absurdly funny. (he also brilliantly makes a few points but does not do it in a preachy way)

I would like to say in closing that I realized my obnoxious ways and called my trusted friend and apologized for my uncontrolled rant. And in true form she replied ” why are you apologizing?”

All books listed are by Christopher Buckley

Supreme Courtship FIC BUC. New Adult Fiction. Imagine if a gun totin’ “hot” TV courtroom judge was appointed to the Supreme Court by a President who is trying to spite a Senator who keeps shooting down qualified Supreme Court candidates take that along with a wacky presidential campaign and it is a PERFECT read to wash away today’s headlines. (or even scarier you when you begin to see the fantasy actually reflecting our reality) 

Boomsday FIC BUC. Adult Fiction. This book ranks up there as one of my all time favorite reads.  This is a hilarious outake on a generational warfare between the Baby Boomers and the younger Americans that are going to be stuck paying the tab and how this conflict gives birth to the most outrageous presidential campaign.

No Way to Treat a First Lady FIC BUC. Adult Fiction. In a story that’s equal parts satire and courtroom drama, Buckley slings barbs at lawyers, politics and Washington’s social elite. After President Ken MacMann returns from a lusty night in the Lincoln Bedroom with actress Babette Van Anka, his wife, Elizabeth, hurls insults and a priceless Paul Revere spittoon at him. When MacMann is found dead the next morning with the word “Revere” embossed on his forehead, the first lady becomes the prime suspect. The absurdities continue with abundance in this story but you must read more to find out …..

 Little Green Men FIC BUC. Adult Fiction. “Celebrity trials, populist bile and The X-Files get the Buckley skewer in this fast-paced satire. John O. Banion is an acerbic journalist, a talk-show host, a D.C. insider and proud of it. MJ-12 is a secret federal program (based on a real-life program of the same name) that stages alien abductions to maintain popular support for military spending and space exploration. When he is “probed” by “aliens” at a golf course, Banion becomes a true believer in UFOs. Ostracized by the D.C. establishment, he uses his TV show to organize millions of UFO cultists (the “Millennium Men”), who gather on the Mall (the “Millennium Man March”) and just may bring down the government. Consistently hilarious and painfully topical, the novel can resemble a series of stand-up comedy routines.” Publisher’s Weekly

Thank you for Smoking FIC BUC. FIC BUC. Buckley lampoons big tobacco and earnest reformers in this comedic book . Join Nick Naylor as he defends America’s right to smoke even if it kills him!

White House Mess FIC BUC. FIC BUC. A comedy about a presidential administration totally off the mark. This fictional political memoir by the Personal Assistant to the President  offers a unique self-serving inside view of the White House

 

This post is written by Audra, who at the moment is reading an article about the “Big Bailout” and reaching for my orange flowered phone….. Hello? Mrs B– HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THEY…………..

4 thoughts on “My Name is Cranky and I Approve this Message……

  1. A great blog entry … just what I needed today! I have a similar relationship with my neighbor, who couldn’t wait to call me this morning to “poke a stick in [my] cage” about my candidate’s performance. He thinks I am a certifiable lunatic and I think that he has the political judgment of a stick of chewing gum. Both of us think that we can change the other’s mind … which is pretty funny because there is no way that’s going to happen. But we always end up with a laugh and a reminder that “we’ll talk again tomorrow morning”!

    NOW, on the other topic here… haircutters … I don’t want to draw too many parallels, dear blogger, but I’ve been using the same barber for … 40+ years. And he is a political junkie, and the longer that I am in that chair, the shorter and shorter goes the hair. Not that I have a lot on top anymore, but he’ll whittle my beard down to a Hollywood stubble if I stick around too long. Just the same, he’s the man and that’s the way it’s going to be!

  2. Oh my Audra! I am living your life during this political atmosphere! I think I need Supreme Courtship for my husband (and me) to lighten things up around here. The political news channels have been on for hours at night and we don’t even watch TV! How do you go about talking to someone about political views (as strong as mine, and seemingly yours, are)? Especially when we know we are right AND find the facts to prove such despite who our picks are. I try to stay out of such conversations because my blood pressure goes up too much 🙂

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